


This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Category: Hellsing, ミイラの飼い方 | Miira no Kaikata | How to Keep a Mummy (Anime)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, I'm horrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 03:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15015542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: Seras brings home an oni child. Alucard's reaction is not what you would expect. (Or it's exactly what you would expect, depending on your view of him.)





	This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

~ This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things ~

"Master, look!" Seras cried excitedly, holding out her hands to show him what she'd found.

It was a chubby little creature about the size and shape of a guinea pig, but colored bright red and with two little horns on its head.

"Oh, an oni child," Alucard said, as he reached out to take it from her.

Seras smiled at the sight of her sire holding the little creature. Her expression quickly morphed to one of horror as he popped the oni child into his mouth.

"Master, no!"

"What?" Alucard asked, nonplussed, after having swallowed his snack.

* * *

"Walter, go find out what Seras is crying about, and see if something can be done about it," Integra commanded, as the sound of the Draculina's wailing reached a pitch that pierced the sanctity of her office for the third time this evening.

"Of course, my lady," Walter replied, and left the room. He returned a few minutes later to report: "Apparently Alucard has eaten her new pet. She is currently inconsolable."

~end~


End file.
